i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
