ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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