One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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