38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
