Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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