Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize