We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
