sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize