whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
