Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
