There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
