It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
