He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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