YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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