you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The struggles of a small town man whore
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
