Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Randomize
