I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
