We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this will be a night to untag.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
