Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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