4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize