it was like eating out sand paper
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
