Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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