coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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