Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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