Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
