i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
