I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
