i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize