so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
