I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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