You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
