I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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