His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
