Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My balls are so social today.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
