Ambien. No doubt about it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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