Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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