It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
