I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and she was petting her beer can
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
