wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize