is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
