I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
