he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
