Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
