i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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