Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
