There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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