I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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