my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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