would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize