can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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