if you like me you must not know who I am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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