He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
