I cannot find my penis.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i now understand why vodka
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
