Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
