So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize