She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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