as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
