I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
