They should really pass out barf bags in church
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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