Nicole vs. Life
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
