Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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